Friday Night Essence

I am 68 years and retired. One of the biggest issues I have had since childhood is my inability to figure out what I am all about in life.Nothing has succeeded for me in terms of a meaningful job even though I have a MBA. It is like something is pulling me back no matter how hard I have tried.I have almost given up any hope of ever attaining any level of success. Never any money to spare. Oh, been married 37 years and I am tired never able to do anything for my wife. I read the Chapter on Bicameral Mode and Removing Limitations and almost shed tears. My retention ability is so occluded. How do I get past that to realize my potential? I have several more questions, but I sincerely believe there is something holding me back that I need to clear before I can move forward with these lessons. Thanks.