My first meeting

After attending my first secret meeting I feel somewhat frustrated. I have been having trouble defining my friday nite essence. I’m a 64 year old male in forced retirement due to the economy. I have tried so many business opportunities over the last 40 years i have lost count. My one great joy was in raising my 4 children, successfully, I think. I am a huge science fiction fan and always beleived deep down that there was more out there and your visions truly exicte me and verify my inner beliefs all these years. I am over anxious to learn how to apply your secrets to pass on to my children in case something happens to me before I can accomplish that. I even called member services and paid the $30.00 to get hooked up in the meetings even before I received the 3rd book but I haven’t heard from anyone. I want that new Chivilization of the Universe now and need some help to get out of my mental block I seem to be in. Help