Friday Night Essence

I am currently working 50 hour weeks. My job is a routine rut job that I dislike which I have been in for years. All I want is to get out. I am self leader and understand the self leader system. My mind tells me that I don’t want to put the effort into playing at work. I know I could do it, but I really would like to go toward my Friday night essence. With all the time it would take to work my long mini day, and then work on my essence mini days along with all the reading and training makes me feel overloaded. I know to take one thing at a time. I have read all three Heirloom books and feel I need to re read them for I just read them through the first time. Do I go for playing at work which I feel I don’t want to do, or concentrate on the Meetings and material? Do I work on my essence? I just feel like there is so much to do and it could take so long before I really see any benefits. Is this a feeling normal?

Sincerely