Level One question

I am sincerely grateful for this opportunity, and for all this information. Thank you. The question I have was concerning Mr. Hamilton’s response to the female question in Level One meeting. My children range from 27yrs old to 38 yrs old. They are all over this country. My husbands “value creation” was taken away when his nerve endings were damaged in both arms from the hard (but playful-he loved it) work he did for a living. So, I don’t see how I can live thru him or my children that are so far away. I have been working for many years on becoming the best, Brenda, I can be. I was asked to become a member of this society. I have done mostly whatever my family has wanted so I have no clue what I would do in my spare time for fun. I enjoy my gardening. I enjoy reconciling checking accounts. I have always wanted my own business out of my home. I have looked at my job and surroundings and do not see how to apply the Self-Leader System. I am a cashier (only in this type of position for 6 months) for the country’s largest employer. They monitor the minutes taken to get to the front end manager to be assigned a station. The stations change every two hours. You are not to be caught doing anything but your assigned position. Policies were went over in a two week training. You may ask for up to two minutes to look at a given policy IF they feel they can give you that time. It is against policy to talk of work subjects off the clock. Talk about being tied down. So…
I am an independent associate for a company that is country wide after hours. Never have been very successful. Not a salesperson. However, I would love to be a “Professional Inviter” and have failed after a few attempts. So I thought about doing what Jack London did and learn that skill anyway thru using Mini-days. I am tired of failing at everything I do. Please help.